Best Copywriting on the Planet

I sent today's "newsletter" from Woot! to my friend, Mattison Grey, just a few minutes ago, with the comment, "Best Copywriting on the Planet". Now I see that "Woot" is in the top ten keywords 

on Google, today. That sort of web status usually goes to people standing on airplane 

wings in the Hudson River and professional athletes who confuse Tic Tacs with steroids, not some lowly ecommerce 

site. 

I rest my case.

DO NOT DELETE, jscoach!

Read this Woot newsletter and watch your dreams come true - ignore it and you will meet terrible misfortune! Veronica L. of Riverdale, Ohio received this message, failed to read it, and died of natural causes a mere 58 years later! In contrast, Joe B. of Wilmington, Delaware read it voraciously more than two times, and soon received a promotion to Vice-President! Before you click "delete", ask yourself: would you rather be DEAD or VICE-PRESIDENT? Your future could depend on it!

Recessionary Wooting Report
Like everybody else, we're waiting for our business to collapse and force us back into exotic dancing. But to our immense relief, lately a lot of woots have been selling out way earlier than we expected. You've bought 10,000 Ion USB turntables, 18,000 LED booklight three-packs, 25,000 USB Bluetooth dongles, 7,500 Kodak Digital Picture Frames, 1,000 Recaro child car seats, and 17,155 Powersquid two-packs, almost all before breakfast on their respective days, according to the stats on the first page of each sale's discussion thread. Whew! Guess we can leave our pasties in the closet for now. Just goes to show, you have to get up pretty early to beat the hordes of slavering deal-psychos Woot attracts every single day. (And don't forget about Sellout.Woot, where the deals are just as good, but come with a little more elbow room.) In these tight economic times, we'd like to thank you for letting your debilitating shopping addiction go untreated.

Woot's Twitter Feeds: Now with ThumbSuck™ Technology! Are you following us?
Wondering what's for sale on Woot right now? Why bother typing a long, cumbersome URL likeifyouwanttoseewhatsonwoottodayitwouldbeeasiertojusttypewoot.com when you can just followtwitter.com/woot? It's your gateway to amazement, if you're amazed by a single-line post announcing each new Woot sale. You can get the same buzz in different flavors from the wootwineand wootshirt feeds, now with live updated avatars illustrating the current product. We call that ThumbSuck™, and it's especially useful for shirt shoppers. And don't forget the wootoff feed, which springs into action with product updates for every sale during Woot-Offs. Now all we have to do is settle on an awkward portmanteau name for our Twitter feed. Twittoot? Twootter? Twiot?

Shirt.Woot: One Millionth Shirt Sold
You sell a shirt, you sell a couple more, you sell another 999,997 shirts, and pretty soon you're talking serious numbers. Shirt.Woot just pushed its one millionth shirt out the door. The odometer rolled over at 8:25 AM on January 30, 2009, when Alberto of Houston, Texas ordered a single Sun Wukong shirt. That's one shirt every 48.24 seconds since Shirt.Woot launched on July 22, 2007. Hey, Guinness: who do we have bribe for you guys to add an Online T-Shirt Sales section to your record book?

Ever Bought A T-Shirt Designed By Somebody On Star Trek? You Wil.
Speaking of Shirt.Woot, noted actor, author, gambler, blogger, and android Wil Wheaton adds ''t-shirt designer” to his CV this Thursday, and it's all going down at Shirt.Woot. This is like a true-cross thing for hardcore geeks (like us), except that Wil himself will never have laid eyes on your actual shirt, much less hands. But still. As for the design, we don't want to give too much away, so we'll just thank Wil for rolling the DICE with us to release this to-DIE-for tee.

Just What You Need: Another Stupid Blog To Look At
If you've been by Woot lately, you may have noticed something new (besides our stylin' new site design, we mean). We're actually using our blog page to - get this - write a blog! And our literally dozens of loyal readers couldn't be happier. From our monthly greeting cards to our original Valentines, to our trips to the Consumer Electronics Show and Toy Fair ‘09, to our daily links to thesublime and the disgusting, the Woot blog is free to enjoy, but worth at least twice as much in entertainment value.

Wine.Woot Community Update 
While the other dot-woots bustle with the hustle of a million sharp-elbowed loud-mouthed plebeians, the mood over at Wine.Woot is entirely more refined. Our wine site continues to feature two winery- direct deals per week, in its own unhurried way. For a break from the greasy, sarcastic nerds (like us) who dominate the rest of the Woot empire, look for the weekly member-initiated Cyberpub thread in the Wine.Woot forums. And don't miss our new guest blogger, Scott Harvey of Scott Harvey Wines, as he takes you inside the grape. The (gasp) mature, intelligent conversation at Wine.Woot is almost as refreshing as the vino itself - and you can take part even if you're in one of the grinchy states that don't allow online wine sales.

And if you're still reading, congratulations! Your life will soon be blessed with an embarrassment of riches, mostly in the form of remaindered and obsolete consumer electronics! We'll let you run along and sign up for all of those Twitter feeds now. We have a feeling you're going to need them soon.

May every junk email in your Inbox be as awesome as this one -
Woot.com